Thoughts about him

Here I am laying in my bed listening to the crickets outside and I don't know why but the thought of you came across me. I was just thinking about how hard I fell in love with you. I fell in love with you so much that I literally went insane at one point. And through all this I just keep thinking "why him". And I swear I don't know what it was about you but as soon as I saw you for the first time I felt like I found you. And I just looked at you and I felt like I knew you forever but yet I didn't even know your name at the time. I just keep on picturing that moment in my head when we first looked at each other. I just remember you smiling at me and I swear your smile is the most amazing smile I've ever seen. I don't know how I'm even still here loving you just as much as I do, but I swear my love for you is infinite. It never dies and it's so strong that it even overwhelms me. It's crazy that I haven't even seen you in almost a year and I'm still here thinking of you everyday. There's never a day that goes by when I don't think about you. And I always just think back to all those wonderful times. Like I know we never did anything together but I always replay you smiling at me for just one moment over and over again. It's like I can't get you out of my head and I just love you so much. And all I hope is that you love me too. For all I know I could just be getting played but I don't know. But I just remember those times when we would just look at each other and it was so pure for just that one moment. And I just keep thinking about your smile over and over again. Gosh your smile is amazing and you are the most kind hearted guy that I've ever met. And I know we barely know each other but I seriously love you to pieces and I swear you are my whole world. And I remember when I went insane and you told me you would never leave me for even one second. And that really stuck with me. Like I know you didn't actually say it because nothing was there but your spirit was there. And I truly felt like you meant that and that that was you. And sometimes I wish I could go crazy again so I can feel closer to you. Because it's hard sometimes but yet I'm still here. I will always be here. But seriously you are everything to me. I love you so much.